Since I entered National Heart Institute (IJN) around 10 months ago, I heard a lot of sayings like “It’s been a while since we get young doctors on board”, or “This is our first experience getting young MOs around”. Comparing to the gigantic experience our seniors and bosses had, we are indeed young. We did not even have one fourth of their experience in Cardiac expertise. In these 10 months, I had come to appreciate how these varieties of consultants and skills had improved me in my work. And I have to say that I had never regretted my fate of being sent here in Cardiac Anesthesia training.
However, even if we are young, we are also in the team.
This is the fact that I have come to accept that even if we are young, our presence matters. But it is exactly because we are young, that we needed extra support and positivity. Most adults or elder people tend to tell stories of their times. I enjoyed listening to it. Because, for the lack of our experiences, we learn from the experience of others. I also learnt that, it is possible to make no mistake, and still failing. That is not weakness. That is life.
Life is an ongoing stressful learning. You keep going, striving to meet your goal in life, just to fall over and over again.
This is exactly why youngsters need more support and positivity as much as they can get. Because with such short span they have spent in life, there will be occasions when they are tired. Life can be so draining and tiring, especially when it pulls you down all the time. And you had to constantly find a reason to pick yourself up. Because the only time when you finally get your pension is actually when you died.
I, myself, am finding my own way. My own journey to Jannah (heaven). Since I’ve been trying to take exams, I always wondered about this. Exams always had one correct answer. Get them wrong then you are done. Luckily for us, life does not.
There are a lot of different answers in life. One can be a doctor, help some lives so they can go and bring benefits to mankind—and you’ll get your Jannah. Or you can be a teacher, teach students things they will apply their whole lives—and you’ll get your Jannah. You can also be an investment consultant and teach people how to make money so they can spend them for good things—and you’ll get your Jannah. You can even get married, have kids and train them to be good people—and you’ll get your Jannah. God had been so kind as to let us chose, and each answers are correct, so long as you bring good in mankind.
I have chosen Anesthesia as my journey to Jannah. And I seek the graciousness of God in my journey. However, I have to admit that it is still occasionally tiring. Not that I don’t believe in my own choice, but because it is natural to have your ups and downs. And it is even more tiring when people constantly raining you with negativity that sometimes you just feel like maybe I have picked the wrong journey. And then something just clicked my mind.
There is no such thing as wrong journey.
Because even if Islam had urged us to try and try and try so hard to success, Islam also teach us that Qada’ and Qadr also exist. There is a reason why I am on this journey. There is a reason why I entered medical school. There is a reason why I become a doctor. There is a reason why I entered the world of Cardiac Anesthesia. Life is preparing me to be someone I am meant to be in the future.
Perhaps I am not meant to be a specialist in anesthesia, but something in anesthesia is important for me to know so that I can be someone I am meant to be. And when that day comes, I’ll end up saying “thank God I had experience in that”. When really, what was supposed to be said is actually “no wonder life gave me that experience”. Which is why, even if a medical student or a doctor or anyone for that matter, actually quit their jobs to be a housewife or do something else, I think there is no such thing as saying “such a waste of manpower”. Because life sent them there for a reason.
Because we all have our own journey to Jannah—different journeys, same destination.
Elders had overcome more bumps on the road than us. Which is why it is important to listen to their experience so that we can face the bumps well prepared. But it is also important for us to occasionally hear some support, something like “you have done well even if you failed”, so that even if we tried to prepare but fall nonetheless, we can just pick ourselves up, dust off the dirt and start walking again. Most people forget the power of appreciation. It can do wonders. Sadly, it is what exactly lacking in our society—government or not. We dwell in heavy politics and took people for granted. People forgot that you could support them and their enemies at the same time. They also forgot that without these people—main or side characters—they might not achieve great results. A great team consists or various expertise, various minds, various skills. If everyone in the team wanted to be a racer, the racecar without engineers and mechanics might not even function.
Phil Jackson once said; “Good teams become great ones when members trusts each other enough to surrender the ‘me’ for the ‘we’.”
We are young.
But we are also in the team.
This is our journey to Jannah. So please support us with all the positivity and experience you had. Don’t just say what we’re doing is fruitless, or that trying to teach us meant nothing. Islam taught us to try hard, and then pray, then tawakkal. Believe in every result that come out of it.
Because we might not do it for the result. We’re doing it because this is our journey.
And when we have completed our journey—positive result or not—we will also die. Probably earlier than you will.
Note: I would like to use this opportunity to thank every and each personals I met and learnt from in IJN, from the very highest Senior Consultant down to the cleaner who had taught me so many things that benefited me. From my very own Anesthesia Department to all other departments whom I equally respected, I convey my genuine gratitude. Indeed, what I learnt here had tremendously helped me in life and medicine. And I have to say that, indeed, I haven’t the slightest regret that I have come here to learn. Thank you, teachers.